By Michael Sweeney Sept 10th 2017

On this day of celebration,
I will spare you from frustration,
And restrain myself from slander, jibes and jeers. 

I will not mention your pet hates,
Or heads stuck in five bar gates,
Or your tabernacle battles through the years.

A lifetime of conforming,
A love of pianos, global warming,
Silver hair and weakened knees – your life’s been full.

Each passing day you grow more like,
Uncle Bill and Uncle Mike,
Oh by the way, have you ever heard of Cholesterol? 

So with that I bid adieu,
As your favourite nephew,
And thank you for the laughs and fun throughout the years.

A final tip: please remember,
My birthdays in December,
Now, please get back to procuring predictions from these “queeaarrs”.

Response from Uncle Tim 11th September 2017

Oh man that is legend!

I am not deserving,

nor my fortune swerving,

in the fleeting rush,

of times eternal flush,

the youthful fancy flown,

reaching fully grown,

and ready for the bed,

not long now till I’m dead.

The howls and echos last,

of laughter in the past,

of whiskies drowned and drunk,

and barbed words from the trunk.

How lucky is the fool,

with blunt and broken tool,

yet pleasure in the mist,

when all around are pissed.

So to nephews geals and yanks

I impart on you my thanks now fuck off!